The fear of rejection can be enslaving. It shackles us to our present places in life, preventing us from moving out of our comfort zones. When we stay in this stagnate state, we stifle our emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual development. In other words, we don’t grow. All living things must grow; it’s a biological fact! Yet the fear of rejection can be so debilitating that millions of us will CHOOSE to remain in these self-imposed prisons.
WHY DO WE DO THIS? The fear of rejection is a natural human reaction; we are social creatures and, as individuals, we rely on the compassion and kindness of others for survival. When we are rebuffed or marginalized, our sense of survival may feel threatened, so we become defensive. The defense mechanisms we use to cope with rejection are what set us apart and determine the amount and type of success we will have in this life. There are basically two ways to deal with rejection: 1. accept it and become inspired to accomplish or 2. become defeated by the rejection and avoid it.
HOW CAN WE FREE OURSELVES? Many of us compete for the attention and recognition of others to validate our self-worth. When we don’t receive the approval our fragile egos need, we then begin the dreadful comparison game. The problem with this “merry pastime” is that when we compare ourselves to others, we will inevitably feel society’s rejection. (There will always be someone more attractive, successful, intelligent or creative in the world.) The truth is our freedom can only be found when we realize that our merits will never be fully recognized by society. Instead, our self-worth should ALWAYS come from God. He created us in His image! He definitely believes we are valuable! So this year, instead of hyper focusing on pleasing others and seeking their attention and recognition, let us give our best to God and be transformed by His approval.
SAY “YES” TO “NO.” As Christians we will face rejection many times. Christ promises us this (2 Timothy 3:12, Acts 14:22 & 1 Thessalonians 3:7). But the Lord also wants us to persevere (James 1:12 & Romans 5:3-5). Let us apply this same attitude to other aspects of our lives. This year, we challenge you to grow with us. We have officially begun querying agents. Our goal is to receive at least 50 rejection letters. We are saying “yes” to “no” in 2013. The fear of rejection has prevented us from submitting our work in the past, but our egos aren’t as fragile anymore because we’ve remembered “Whose” we are. We are going to use the rejection letters we receive as motivation to improve our writing and encourage others traveling on similar paths. If you’ve dreamed of doing something (changing jobs or careers, furthering your education, attending a new church, writing a book [that may be incredibly challenging to market] or even jumping back into the dating pool), go for it! Don’t let those pesky voices inside your head shackle you down anymore. A simple “no” will NOT destroy you if you don’t allow it. Plus, the more rejection you face, the more desensitized you will become to it, and the more likely you will be to achieve your goals!
And here’s a song that totally makes us embrace our inner-reject… “Hit Me with Your Best Shot”